Showing posts from January, 2017

A Couple of Thoughts: 'a note of 25 y.o'

Going back to hometown has always been a perfect time to ponder and evaluate everything had happened through sharing with friends and observing changes, to simply remind me of my origin and how far I have walked. Alhamdulillah (thanks God) for accompanying me with people helping me to grow, got me inspired. As a constant prayer which I always bear in mind: 
يامقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك 
(Yaa muqallibal quluub, tsabbit qalbi 'ala diinik) "Oh the Turner of the heart, please keep this heart firm on this deen"

Older people often said that a period of 20 - 30 y.o would be a fiery period in life in which we have many things in mind wished to be accomplished as soon as possible, a strict planner. Then, getting close to 30 y.o, it turns to taking the life easy, running the thing slow but sure, fiery spirit wouldn't be that much fiery. Now, I'm in my 25 and start to feel so, sounds too early. It was so since, unconsciously, mostly my friends aged older than me have shar…


describes many things

Taking Grateful As Medicine

Despite from all difficulties that I have been going through, there would come a moment which reminds you to be grateful no matter what. Anyway, swallowing bitterness, even very bitter one, might become the best way to sticking important lesson in your mind.

During the walk, sometimes all the thing I want to do is only breathing without feeling any burdens, or simply just enjoy surrounding, even in the cold winter time. Then, start to count blessing. Praise to Allah who trusts me having this experience: living and studying abroad through LPDP. Deeply inside, I'd like to forgive as well for my deviated intention. I have been learning many things but unfortunately (I may say so) something in my mind deviated. It doesn't mean bad, but more to be creating a challenging desire.

Mess Up, But Is It?

If I look back, comparing my self today and before starting new story here in Japan, all the plan has been deviating too much. Sometimes in the train, while doing nothing, nothing coming cross my mind except: "Yeah life. Yeah this is." 
Others may have been doing great things within their path, while I just begin with my own step, my new choice. Back then, even reading one paragraph of a journal became so tough; I struggled so bad. Ridiculously, but it indeed happened. Meanwhile, now, I can pick up the idea on every journal easily, even for several journals just for skimming. 
This afternoon, in the train, I asked my close friend/sister, "why recently sometimes I just sit quietly and thinking nothing" She asked, "are you too tired?" "Hmm, could be, but I think, I'm not" "Are you still feeling sad?" again she asked "No," I answered, but honestly I was teary, "I just don't know why. I'm confused in this way. W…