Connecting the Dots
I bumped into my friend's post about interesting experiences are usually unplanned. I do agree with this. At a certain point, I thought that I had been too cruel to myself, bringing idealism without facing reality such how nature works as it is.
I wouldn't study in Japan and befriended with many people around the world and learned differences if I never dare to try, just try, to apply for scholarship and kept persistant. I didn't plan to study in Japan, instead Netherland. Further I know that strong environment of research in Japan has taught me its strength to society and has stolen my interest. I knew them all after all were completed and connected the dots.
We do have dreams and plans. At certain point, we might reach the dream, but not the details. Then when everything seems blurred, running out of way we planned, at this point, I do believe the old proverb saying: "follow your heart". But be mind, we have to assure that our heart condition is good. So, I was thinking that I should come home to contemplate what to do. You might also wonder "why do you have to return home just for contemplating? You can do it in Japan too." I don't know why but I just felt that I should come home, eventhough I didn't have specific plans, even I couldn't make sure where I would work.
So here I am living the life that I perceived was blur but it is not after connecting the dots. I have dreams but now Insya Allah I am doing something toward my dreams. Surprisingly, now I'm paving my way in a company that provides me with lots of knowledge in geotechnical engineering. Within a month, I was pushed to quickly master many softwares. Many things that I don't understand but I completed well (hopefully) in the end. I never expected this happened in my life. Alhamdulillah for everything. Despite of many toxic people in the office, I would rather see straight forward of my own future. Something that makes me reluctant to return to consultant firm. But anyways, this won't be forever, so just keep patient.