Can I Move Forward?

I'm done with my self, I'm done
What I have wanted has set on its place, that is all about me: travelling, living by myself, and the  most inportant one is finding my self.
Feels like next new page should be rolled on, but who I am to decidea ?
I am ready but just the way has not shown up
Somtimes I fee terrible with IG, the platform that ironically I use almost every day.
Their timeline sometimes distracts mine when I successfully feel peace with everything happenig now.

Can I start to roll over the page with the one whom I trust to live with me my whole life, Oh Allah?
Please show me the way, reveal him for me
I am in need to go through new challanges and new adventures again.

Dealing with Uncertainties

It's been a while not writing...
Belakangan ini, saya sempat ngobrol ke beberapa teman dan topiknya tentang menghadapi masa depan, yang berarti menghadapi ketidakpastian. Saya juga sama seperti yang lain, masih terus belajar, tapi di posting kali ini, ingin berbagi pandangan positif yang biasa mama ingatkan kalo saya lagi galau. Dan posting ini juga akan jadi notes buat diri sendiri, kelak nanti mungkin bakal buka posting ini lagi untuk reminder diri sendiri. 
Satu hal yang dirasakan ketika saya akan balik ke Indonesia adalah: "kayak apa ya kehidupan nanti setelah di Indonesia ketika pekerjaan di Indonesia pun belum didapatkan, gak jadi memutuskan kerja di Jepang, belum bisa memutuskan melanjutkan S3, nikah juga gak jadi, hilal untuk next imam pun belum ada, rasanya hidup bakalan membosankan, bakalan terasa berat." Bayang-bayang kegelapan pun seakan jelas di depan mata. (lebayy haha)
Simply, saya cerita ke mama dan beliau cuma bilang gini, "Gak usah khawatir, kalo …

At Least, Take Action

Over the past two months, I was overwhelmed by a tough question that everyone may struggle with: "What's the next shot?" Then it leads my mind to arrange my life-plan. Just like a whirlpool, it never ends, because there are many uncertainty that I cannot control over and some parts are worrying. So, I decided to end it up. 

Fine. No more overthinking because it just pull me back on my chair, not going anywhere. I come up with conclusion that:
There are things that we can control through our efforts and there are things that we cannot control over because we are just human. So why do we have to worry something that we cannot control over? Aa Gym ever said that, we don't have to know every single thing of life because it is perhaps better to not knowing something. 
Life indeed shouldn't have to be such a perfect-happy-way but rather to be colored with pain to develop strength. I remember the lecture by Nouman Ali Khan says that "Allah wants us to experience l…

In Search of Career

From my point of view, career doesn't always mean working 8-hours in an office. What I understand about career is that a label describing a person's role in this universe, including being a mother. A career and a job are not the same. Career is a life-time job that embroils passion, doing something that we like for the potential that we have. So, the statement saying, "you are not a kid who only do what they like to do", no, a big NO. I stick on assumption that we like do a certain things because we do acknowledge our own passion and potential, not just a reason of "I just like it" behind. 
A big question is haunting me these days asking: "what actually do you want to do for your career?" Each person has strength and weakness, additonal points and limitations. I have picked those matters and try to resolve, but in the end those are my natural strength and weakness that defines me of who I am. I came to a point that, "this is not a career tha…