Do Not Compare, Be Grateful

I had a talk with my friend last Sunday. In the middle of the talk, he pointed out an issue: the social comparison. Naturally, as human, we do that. Later when social media arises, it echoes the social comparison, putting us in a desperate internal thought though it might not seems that pity. 

What overwhelms me recently is indeed what other people are suffering from. Why my progress is so slow. What I have achieved so far is this only? Look, my friend got married, had kids, got a new house, boost with his/her career. What about me? I came to a point of feeling uneasy. I kept torturing myself with the question where have you been? 

I used to be a strong believer in saying "once something comes true, right in front of you, then that is what befalls upon you." However, I lost such faith just because of my worry for not taking the wrong decision, because of poisoned with words I worry that I can't because the constraint is this and that. Yet again, who are you to dare to say that what has happened is a wrong decision? My friend said, "You chose something that you were passionate about, right? Then nothing wrong with that." I acknowledge that is true. Here is a note for not falling into depression circle thought

This is to remind my self when I suddenly get exhausted and forget in the middle of the way:

Research has taught me a deeper look of seeking knowledge, building a good of research conduct, and nourishing professional path with updated-journals as a geotechnical engineer. Using a complicated cyclic triaxial apparatus was a journey to train critical thinking through details and working system, looking deeper into something. I am indeed slow in this particular self-improvement because I acknowledge and understand the way I was raised by my mother. It takes time for me indeed to grow up. I think that most of my friends had passed that finding myself term back to a bachelor student life. So, I accept this fact and not to torture my self with the term being late. My research on liquefaction has brought me to find wider impact in disaster field that is: Disaster Management that combines engineering, policy, social science, and economics; which in turns help me to find my purpose.

As what I seek before graduation is experiencing a professional job, praise Allah that I got a second chance as a geotechnical engineer. Even I acknowledge that I don't like a consultant life, but I have to accept the current condition, building further my career (a professional certificate and freelance) as a geotechnical engineer. It seems also teaching would be my way to channel a stressful job. Do a constant-workout, get a driving license, while waiting for the next chance to be an impactful researcher who will work together with the top stakeholders around the world. Try anything that brings me surrounded by disaster management specialist. So nothing to be regret. Pull away that friend saying, "engineer is a low-level job compared to business development" that makes you forget blessings from Allah in your life, that makes you feel uneasy. As Eka said to you, "I don't care what you said. Look, I will jump over you in my timing!" 

It is indeed blurred by now. I also don't limit my career for any wedding plan ahead when it comes the right time. And I hope that I can find someone who supports each other's career. As a career-coaching book says: your career may shift from time to time as your role changes, and I am indeed a flex-lifer. I am no longer trying hard to find a fit job for my future role as a mother. Because we don't have to worry about something that has not happened yet. 

Be the best for the current role, 

improvise when the chances find you.