A Candle Light

All praise to Allah for all the miracles bestowed upon my wedding. It was such a dream that I couldn't believe myself returned home with the man I love after the solemnization day. It was Friday, the all-known blessing day, and I waved him from a far when he was approaching me after Friday jummuah prayer. Am I dreaming or what?  Yet, months earlier, the rocky road was there. Afterall, it worth the loved one.  Crossing miles away from Europe to my parent's house during this pandemic, not to forget the border strict rule, won't question myself on how being assured he is with me. One thing we do both agree, "I feel it's right."  Years before this, I was terrified by many facts about marriage life that I have seen before. Especially, about how to find the right one. One thing that I always heard that, "Just marry the righteous one. Love can be developed later on." I personally always get annoyed by this fact. It might work for some couples but I felt lik...

 A little self reward on weekend after a long working days, strolling around Omotesando (表参道) would be refreshing. It is quite difficult to find a proper place to enjoy your coffee from a higher place with a lively vibrant sense. Shibuya must be too crowded and quite noisy, but I found a cozy place along Omotesando street. Before jumping to cafe review, let's take a moment enjoying surrounding.  Right at the end of the crossing, you can find Island Vintage Coffee across the bridge where you could see Omotesando Hills from a far. Take a peak at the menu on the ground floor then go up to the second floor for menu order.  It's December, Christmas Tree 🎄 vibe Welcome!  Average price is quite expensive compared to common  coffee shop. Yeah, that's definitely Omotesando. Order the coffee here Finally, set the seat and ready to create something. I chose Mauna Kea Ice Coffee.  I know it's winter but I'm curious to try new offer. Just a rough look for the menu...

There is always the reason behind anything that happens in this life that many of them God does not tell us why. He is the All-Knowing.  Some people get married late and some others earlier. Some people get divorced and some other loose their loved one as death separates them. Some people live wealthy but later the unexpected things happens to take all away, and some other people live like average people but happily long live in a simplicity.  Many people think marriage is like a life-change button for a woman to stop juggling daily office work life, to stay home all-day, and happily blessed with the loved-man shared monthly money. However, the truth of life is not always as simple as that. No one knows what the future holds. Still, the woman need to prepare herself when the life gets tough. Surely, we can ask Allah for anything, but life is a combination of struggles and hopes. If we don't get prepared and not use the moment wisely to achieve something, really we are a looser...

During Ramadhan, let's maximize our time to supplicate to Allah SWT. Surely often we do pray at any condition, either mostly after prayer or during free-time. Recently I have been thinking of rectifying the way of supplication to Allah to obtain a more personal connection with Allah and to see the essentials of du'a from a good perspective.  First of all, let's rectify our perspective on performing du'a. We often consider performing du'a as the main way to get what we want in life. Rather, performing dua is a way to please Allah. It is suggested to have a firm belief that our du'a will be accepted by Allah. Regarding what kind of blessing descended by Allah later is all beyond Allah's Mercy and Will. We may not receive what we ask for, but surely insya Allah would be better than that.  Following are groups of du'a which were raised by many pious men and women throughout Islamic history and some suggested du'a to supplicate.  Taraweeh prayer at T...

This is a reminder to myself when things are going away from the plan, to not feel devastated, desperate, and helpless. This is a message to bounce back, not to compare me to other people. Japan is well-known for its wisdom words even number of suicidal is increasing. Even in any Anime, it is easy to find the wisdom of "not giving up" (諦めない or "akiramenai"). I found wisdom words from Doraemon series about "future" (未來 or "mirai"), something that many people would experience in course of their life. A question about: "where this step going to lead?" or "will my dream come true when things seem difficult?"  Each type of job requires different skill, so we should not be giving up.  Working or learning is similar anywhere. Each of them is unseparated.  If you combine them, something new will be created.  It is indeed not easy to do it, but we should pass all of this life story.  No one will finish this dream, so at lea...

I had a talk with my friend last Sunday. In the middle of the talk, he pointed out an issue: the social comparison . Naturally, as human, we do that. Later when social media arises, it echoes the social comparison, putting us in a desperate internal thought though it might not seems that pity.  What overwhelms me recently is indeed what other people are suffering from. Why my progress is so slow. What I have achieved so far is this only? Look, my friend got married, had kids, got a new house, boost with his/her career. What about me?  I came to a point of feeling uneasy. I kept torturing myself with the question where have you been?   I used to be a strong believer in saying "once something comes true, right in front of you, then that is what befalls upon you." However, I lost such faith just because of my worry for not taking the wrong decision, because of poisoned with words I worry that I can't because the constraint is this and that . Yet again, who are you t...

People changes along with their new life steps in. A single to a couple then becomes a parent; an impulsive youth to become a strong-minded mature person. Throwing back to three years younger of me, taking a challenging decision was not a big deal. All I could respond was, "Yes I am ready! Why not? I am waiting for the next cool fun days!" It brought me on a remarkable journey to find myself (well, sounds cliche though). However, I don't feel the same way recently. I am more careful in taking a decision because I don't want to be disappointed in the near future. The more careful I become, the more indecisive I am. My friend told me that, as long as your reasoning process is still in a reasonable zone, then keep digging.  As a reminder for my self too, I would like to put some noteworthy things in mind about taking decision wisely.  1. Sharpen The Sense In my humble opinion, having a sharp sense would help us in defining and interpreting the situation...

Its been a while...  A question that blows my mind again and again as I have no answer yet came closer again, "What is it exactly you desire of? Decide where you belong to." Definitely, the latter one is not the real question. It is only a prompted statement.  A friend of mine said, "Don't be overthinking over something that has not to happen." I answered, "But how if in nearly future it reveals that I am wrong?" She responded, "Then get improvised. Everything's gonna find its way eventually. Now, what you need to do is knocking on each door, then find out which one is yours." Another friend of mine said, "Lifetime is so short. Suddenly, you marry someone and have children. Then getting busy with your job. If you do have a specific dream that you want to achieve, then go for it. You still have time. About marrying? Get to know your spouse-to-be carefully. He is going to be yours for the whole time."  I c...

It's been a while not writing... Belakangan ini, saya sempat ngobrol ke beberapa teman dan topiknya tentang menghadapi masa depan, yang berarti menghadapi ketidakpastian. Saya juga sama seperti yang lain, masih terus belajar, tapi di posting kali ini, ingin berbagi pandangan positif yang biasa mama ingatkan kalo saya lagi galau. Dan posting ini juga akan jadi notes buat diri sendiri, kelak nanti mungkin bakal buka posting ini lagi untuk reminder diri sendiri.  Satu hal yang dirasakan ketika saya akan balik ke Indonesia adalah: "kayak apa ya kehidupan nanti setelah di Indonesia ketika pekerjaan di Indonesia pun belum didapatkan, gak jadi memutuskan kerja di Jepang, belum bisa memutuskan melanjutkan S3, nikah juga gak jadi, hilal untuk next imam pun belum ada, rasanya hidup bakalan membosankan, bakalan terasa berat." Bayang-bayang kegelapan pun seakan jelas di depan mata. (lebayy haha) Simply, saya cerita ke mama dan beliau cuma bilang gini, "Gak usah khaw...

Over the past two months, I was overwhelmed by a tough question that everyone may struggle with: "What's the next shot?" Then it leads my mind to arrange my life-plan. Just like a whirlpool, it never ends, because there are many uncertainty that I cannot control over and some parts are worrying. So, I decided to end it up.  Fine. No more overthinking because it just pull me back on my chair, not going anywhere. I come up with conclusion that: There are things that we can control through our efforts and there are things that we cannot control over because we are just human. So why do we have to worry something that we cannot control over? Aa Gym ever said that, we don't have to know every single thing of life because it is perhaps better to not knowing something.  Life indeed shouldn't have to be such a perfect-happy-way but rather to be colored with pain to develop strength. I remember the lecture by Nouman Ali Khan says that "Al...

Someone who used to be close with me ever said to me, "That's okay, young lady. It takes time for you to understand. You are just 25 something." He is indeed 4 years older than me. I started to think, 'is there something wrong with me?' Also, I had a classmate. She is also 4 years older than me. I used to hang out with her. I learned a lot from her about how she sees the world as it is, the human nature, and how to take the life simpler.  So, for short,  we should stay in the middle: not as an extremist nor an independent irresposible type of muslim. We can dream as high as we can, but there is always the boundary as the world works. We can ask Allah for anything and keep believing that it would come true. Something that makes us to be persistant is that being patient of the process; we need to understand that there is nothing best in this world without process; the law of casuality. Moreover, Allah opens wide door for those who trust him and beg him a ce...

Sebuah kata yang memiliki arti yang mendalam bahkan dapat menjadi tolak-ukur seseorang. Gue mungkin bukan orang yang sepenuhnya capable  untuk membahas ini secara keseluruhan apalagi melakukannya dengan sempurna, tapi setidaknya gue bisa menilai dari sudut pandang yang baik ( I hope ). Well, no one is perfect, but I respect those who are always struggling for it. Gue sedang tertarik membahas ini karena kebetulan ada kasus yang sangat menggelitik fondasi berpikir gue terhadap Islam.  Pertama-tama, apa sih arti kata adab itu sendiri? Jika dikutip dari kamus bahasa indonesia (KBBI), arti dari adab adalah: Dan beberapa kutipan dari artikel portal Islam: Udah sering lah ya terdengar opini: "dia gimana sih? pengetahuan agamanya oke, kelihatannya taat, tapi menghadapi masalah begitu aja gak gentle." Sayangnya, itu kenyataan yang membuat gue juga bertanya-tanya: "trus apa gunanya agama yang selama ini dia yakini?" Pasti akan ada orang yang berk...

I bumped into my friend's post about interesting experiences are usually unplanned. I do agree with this. At a certain point, I thought that I had been too cruel to myself, bringing idealism without facing reality such how nature works as it is.  I wouldn't study in Japan and befriended with many people around the world and learned differences if I never dare to try, just try, to apply for scholarship and kept persistant. I didn't plan to study in Japan, instead Netherland. Further I know that strong environment of research in Japan has taught me its strength to society and has stolen my interest. I knew them all after all were completed and connected the dots.  We do have dreams and plans. At certain point, we might reach the dream, but not the details. Then when everything seems blurred, running out of way we planned, at this point, I do believe the old proverb saying: "follow your heart". But be mind, we have to assure that our heart condition is good....

Saya sempat terkejut ketika mengetahui Nas (from NasDaily) sudah lama tidak beribadah seperti yang dilakukan muslim pada umumnya. Dia beralasan bahwa setiap orang yang menganut agama, pasti akan menganggap agamanya yang paling benar. Jadi, seakan dia menemukan bahwa agama itu tidak penting, yang penting adalah menjadi orang baik dan berusaha menyelamatkan dunia. Sepertinya dia menjadi agnostik: tidak beragama, tapi percaya keberadaan Tuhan. Kasus lainnya adalah seorang wanita Arab yang berhasil kabur dari keluarganya dan negaranya setelah ia merasa jengah dengan bagaimana wanita diperlakukan seperti budak di negaranya, seakan tidak punya hak dan kebebasan. Karena ia takut untuk kembali rumahnya dengan alasan takut dibunuh karena telah memalukan keluarga, akhirnya dia mencari suaka ke negara lain dan tinggal menetap. Ia melepas hijabnya sekaligus meninggalkan Islam. Kasus seperti ini sudah banyak ditemukan. Apalagi para wanita yang tinggal di negara konflik. Secara pribadi, say...

Taking a distance and a time does give significant impacts on me It does feel like my soul is free from toxic Unconsciously I carried them (pain, hate, disappointment) with me At that time, I still recognized him around because there he was and it made me feel so heavy Now, all the memories along with the pains are fading away, almost vanished completely Sometimes, human weakness of forgetting is a blessing: forget to feel the pains "be peace with your past" doesn't mean "overlooking someone-else' mistake over you", but rather "don't ruin your life with the anger over him, because it's not even worth something to think about. Indeed, the mistake does matter, but just to mark him off. Then keep on going forward. Honestly, I don't forgive. I might make mistake too but I wouldn't decide to take a coward action. It was the most difficult thing to forgive someone. Look, the same feeling when someone kicks you without reason then ...

It was such an amazing life experience that I had in Japan; a place that I ever dreamed of so much. Alhamdulillah for the opportunity trusted on me during those 2 years. Even though I still have the courage to live there but current situation just put me into living back in Jakarta. I perceive that returning home is still a good plan Insya Allah, as I'm continuing to learn Japanese language and working as a junior geotechnical engineer. I don't know exactly what future holds but I'm just following my intuition and given chance. I do believe  "there is a will, there is a way" .  Before time gone far, I want to sum them up in this post. Here are some snippets of my life during 2017. Let's start from the beginning month of the year.    January   the neighborhood of Ikenoue station It was cold, still in winter, around 3 degrees in Tokyo. You would not find continuous snow in Tokyo, but at least a day of the shower. There was no new year party...